I know it is a tough thing to go through. I am going through a divorce with my STBXAW as we speak. It was very hard for me to tell her I wanted a divorce, even though we have been talking about it for over 6 months. We have been together for 18 years, married for 11. I know how hard it is. On one hand I look at the woman & I can't help but care for her, I don't want to hurt her in anyway. It seems like I have steered much pain away from her & took the pain to spare her. It was what I thought was right at the time with what was given to me. In hindsight I believe I was wrong. I need to let her experience the consequences. Not just the little ones like leaving her where she passes out or cleaning up he spilled drinks, she needs to experience that she has CHOSEN to drink over working on our relationship & is going to lose it all, her dream house, her marriage etc. I need to get out of her way. It is the only way I can help her. So if I look at it like it is the only thing I can do to help her, it makes it a little easier to deal with.
I too am angry a the vodka. It has taken everything that I love away from me & given me nothing in return. I look at her & see the physical being that was once my wife but experience all the actions of a lying, cheating, scheming alcoholic. I don't know this person. I don't like this person. Unfortunately I still love my wife. I still care for her more than anyone else. I am so concerned for her well being & hate to see her spiraling down farther & farther. I feel a blade being pushed in me every time she takes another step down. The only thing I can do is detach & care for her & love her from a distance.
She is in the hands of her higher power. Let go & let her HP take care of her. Let your HP take care of YOU! It sounds like you have taken all the steps with great care & allowing them their necessary time. Take comfort in knowing you DID ALL YOU COULD. You cannot save her, you know this. You will get through this, you have taken so many scary steps & have made it through. This is just one more step, one that you knew was coming. You are strong, you can do this. Time to get out of the way.