HYPOCHONDRIAC “I really struggled with my decision to quit. I tried and failed daily for years”
Yes, everyday Im going to do it tomorrow, or next Monday, but my AV keeps telling me its for the anxiety, Im going through a break up, it would be just mean to quit now (it’s really burrowing in there)..
GERANDTWINE: “Learning AVRT effectively while continuing to drink is impossible.”
Why? There isn’t any other way for me to do it. AVRT is going to be my weapon, without it, it will just be like all the other days I have tried to quit and ended up at the Bottle shop anyway…. I have to prepare before hand, and plan to keep reading it for as long as it takes… (But yes part of me loves it that the book hasn’t arrived yet – any excuse to continue – at least I can see that now).
On the Big Plan
So Im having trouble with the forever part. I can commit to quitting for 2,6, 12 months or something but I feel exactly like what Tipping Point said
Tipping Point: “Early in sobriety, I thought I had a big plan...but deep down, I knew that it wasn't rock solid - it was more like, "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind until such a time as I think it is safe to do so..." .
Other suggestions in this (wonderful) thread have been..
“So, make a plan to quit for 2 weeks” – Gerand Twine
“Forget about forever for now. – Robby Robot
But the strength in the method seems to be in the finality of it. I will never drink and I will never change my mind. It’s the NEVER that gives it the complete lock down that will kill the Beast. Without it, my beast has wriggle room, will spot the loophole, and talk me down from 2 weeks, to “oh you’ve done 3 days, well done, that’s enough”….
There is something in the certainty, finality, of saying “I will never change my mind” that is empowering.
If only I could do it. Because I only want to quit for a while. But I know it has to be forever.
Are you saying, just make a start, without a Big Plan, and get some clean time under my belt? then the moment will come along where I'll want it to be forever? I think my beast would wear me down before then...
As for detoxing.... i have quit before, but I dont experience too bad a withdrawal, no shakes or sweats, dont know why, I might this time and my quantities are bigger. I certainly get irritable and hate the world, but I do have diazepam which helps the first few days....
Tomorrow I go back to work. I wish I had nailed it in this time off. But I havent but the day will come. I will keep reading the website, and at some point I have to make a date and jump...