Originally Posted by
sweetteewalls 
I guess I just expect him to clean up his physical and financial mess and help me with daughter. Because he gives $ doesn't mean that I'm not the one left holding the bag when it comes to raising her. I never have a break. I work, maintain bills and household...Meanwhile, everynight he does whatever he pleases. He is still an active A and I guess I just have to do what Tuffgirl said and expect nothing. He literally abandoned me and our life and family and I just have to "suck it up".
I get what you're saying sweetie..... & in a normal situation what you are asking for isn't anything outrageous. Then you toss in the "A" card & all bets are off!
So, ask yourself this... In the condition he is in now, is he CAPABLE of being a good dad & helping with the responsibilities? I'm guessing not, otherwise you would still be together? Was he doing whatever he pleased even when you WERE together? If that is the case, can you look at it as a glass half-full instead of empty type of way? That maybe by keeping his distance he's actually doing you a favor?
I know that sounds odd & when you feel overwhelmed with responsibility & your ex is just off having fun the injustice is
painful. But if he's still actively drinking & you've found a path to recovery then all the odds are stacked in your favor when you think long-term... you & DD can really move beyond all of this if you put the effort into your own program. Every time you want to scream from the frustrations he is causing you, take a moment to count your blessings instead. Maybe that will help you to diffuse those moments & see them for what they are - temporary.
