Early in sobriety, I thought I had a big plan...but deep down, I knew that it wasn't rock solid - it was more like, "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind until such a time as I think it is safe to do so..." .
I can distinctly remember using the mantra to ward off urges at trigger moments...whispering to myself..."I will never drink again and I will never change my mind!" But I still didn't really mean it in the ultimate sense...it was more like...I will not drink today and I will not change my mind! Hanging on by a thread.
I really liked what someone said earlier in the thread about having a plan to drink when they were much, much older and how they soon realized that having that out for the beast was allowing the beast to rob them of the tremendous freedom that the Big Plan delivers. This is very important...a rock solid big plan that you truly embrace and believe deep into your soul is the key to recovery. It is so simple, yet so hard to achieve. For me, when I was able to make that transition from future drinker to non-drinker the feeling was indescribable. The closest approximation of a worthy descriptor is ENLIGHTENMENT.