THANK YOU all for your support and replies.. it made me cry. I am astounded by your resolve, but even in writing that I realise it isnt resolve... its something much stronger than that...
Hypochondriac (sorry havent learnt to do the quote thing yet) - yes the Beast is Sh*t scared... I was given 2 weeks off work to pull myself together, and I had delusions I would quit in this time, but each day I have drunk more and more and the more I read and know what Im going to do (the AVRT) the more the Beast is acting up... My quantities have become huge.
My goal today was to not drink before 10.30am before my counselling session but I doubt i can... I really cant do anything without drinking - no one knows Im drunk - My own personal low is turning up plowed to my beloved nieces 5th bday party (I didnt cause a scene or anything but just the fact I couldnt do it straight).
I guess that is the main fear. How will I go on a date, how will I have sex, how will I go to a party, how will I speak to the shopkeeper, how will I talk to people at all, underneath the alcohol is a scared mess that cant do any of it (ok that sounded like the AV??). I tell myself I am drinking to manage my anxiety. That is still gonna be there??
Tammy Im glad to hear you went about finding AVRT the way I have... I found the RR site first, then this forum and got stuck reading the thread... being over in Australia the book takes a while to get here, but I spent more on shipping than the book costs to get it here asap (I got the RR Book).
I havent quit yet, I doubt I will be able to until I have read the book (AV stalling??)..
Even though My life is wasting away, I will probably get fired, not be able to have kids and other major consequences and yet I still dont want to stop....
What is wrong with me.
Actually where Im stuck is, I want to stop, but not forever. Anyone else had this one?
big love and thanks to all... youre inspiring. xx q