Originally Posted by
caligirl71 
He said he didn't care..to go ahead and divorce him..he would never shed a tear over me. Actually life would be better without listening to me bitch all the time. Then he told me to get a job. I am a stay-at-home mom who does EVERYTHING for my kids. Is he really this selfish and cold? Is it me?
Don't take any of that personally. I know that seems odd but it's true. His words - are a defensive mechanism to protect him from feeling hurt. It's his denial - "I won't shed a tear and then it won't hurt." It's the disease of alcoholism. It's not you.
Originally Posted by
caligirl71 I'm sitting here crying and upset, wondering why he doesn't love me while he is downstairs sleeping and not caring at all about me....I can't deal with this anymore..I really can't. Pretty soon I am going to have to commit myself because I am going nuts here...
Yup. I went through the same thing. My XAH was the master of the Silent Treatment and going on with life as if all was peachy and grand. It drove me to the damn nuthouse. It was emotional abuse and as soon as I recognized it for what it was - I was able to detach from it. It wasn't easy - but one step at a time got me to where I'm at today.
When I find myself saying, "I can't do this anymore! I can't go on like this!"... it's a message to myself that I need to take a "time-out." I need to figure out what is going on that has me so stressed out and then I need to identify what I can change/what I can't... and figure out a game plan.
Take a deep breath - you WILL get through this.