I feel for you. I have been where you are several times. I left my AH 3 times. The second time, he said that I "should get the f out" more times than I can count and that he likes beer and that I was going to have to just live with it.
Trust me...he does not have the capability of loving you the way you need to be loved. It will get better when you choose to step out of the craziness. I left my AH for the 3rd and final time 2 months ago. Life is much better.
Meet with that attorney. Make informed choices. I was/am a working mother and still did EVERYTHING - except laundry, he liked doing the laundry. (Probably because the 2nd fridge was downstairs where the washer was lol!)
Hang in there...we are here for you. Hugs.