It's just so easy to see what's going on from here. (Much harder when you're in the middle of it.)
Your marriage counseling is a sham. It almost appears as if your AH lured you into it just to buy himself some time.
He is not willing to change and you are not willing to accept him as he is. There's no where to go from there.
Almost every post you write mentions not trusting him. And I don't blame you. He's not trustworthy.
He has shown you in the past that he believes rules and laws that apply to others don't apply to him. He is not going to treat you fairly in marriage or separation. You need to protect yourself--the sooner the better.
L