Originally Posted by
dollydo 
I agree with Thumper and the other posters. He is up to something and as for the pact and the counselor thing, I'd deep six both of them. Before marriage counselling can work you both have to get healthy on your own, neither of you are getting healthy.
You know, I feel healthy at times. I feel confident at times. I feel happy at times, too. I do feel that I'm getting healthy, but I also feel that his insanity keeps dragging me down and I get caught in my own obsession's over it.
How do I get healthy while ignoring him? I have detached emotionally in many ways. He doesn't rile me up or make me cry like he used to, he can't push my buttons like he used to, I consider that some 'getting healthy' on my part.
I was hoping that some real honest stuff would come out of marriage counseling but I've found that AH monopolizes a lot of the time by talking about himself and how people don't like him and can't handle him, etc. The last session we must have spent about 15-20 minutes just listening to him talk about himself. To which, I pointed out, would be a great indication that he needs individual therapy. Anyway, I know what you're all getting at here. I know this brings up things that triggers all of you and I know that my hopefulness and denial about the severity of the issue drives you all crazy. I have a long way to go to get to 100% healthy, but I promise you all that I am trying almost too hard and maybe that's part of the problem?