I am just so curious about why you would continue to put up with all this? Bad enough how it all impacts you but what about your son?
Just what has he been learning about becoming a man?
By the way it is typical NPD behavior to throw a fit and create drama around someone getting more attention then they are....your son's birthday falls into that category! My NPD husband cried because his kids got gifts on their B'day but he felt he should also be acknowledged because he was the dad with gifts! I mean...really cried.....but I guess he could have thrown a tantrum and not agreed to be there for their party....same thing in the end right?