I think it was Cyranoak who said "Adjust your expectations to match your reality."
I have a stickynote with that message on my computer, and one on my fridge.
It's painful to give up hope. But it's also painful to constantly be disappointed.
And it's one thing when you're just disappointed for you, quite another when you're disappointed on behalf of your child. That pain is quite devastating, and I know it well. (((hugs)))