I was #1 for years and I think that is why he married me. I thought I was helping him. He saw it different that his family treated him. In his family they would leave him out in the yard till morning and if he slept in a snow pile they would leave him. When he got up they would just say hi. It was normal to fall asleep in the yard. I heard his mother telling a story about his dad laying in the driveway passed out. After several years being married I did a little of the #3, but went right to #2 and he stopped drinking, but not because of me, but he really wanted to change. He stopped drinking for almost seven years and when he started back I was #2. I will never be #1 again. I think #3 would give him the courage to become aggressive and I have a friend that was #3 and her husband would get very aggressive. I told her once that the tears seemed to drive him crazy. #2 is making my husband crazy. He wants me to be #1. When I act normal and I am not any of these numbers he gets mad. He pouts. What did Ij ust say???