hi, and welcome!
I know where you are coming from i started to feel worse in AA than when i was drinking lol that might sound crazy but the pressure and strain of thinking i was diseased and will never be recovered almost sent me back to the bottle, to me it felt like i had to swop 1 addiction for another and when i raised my concerns i was told its my alcoholic brain speaking!! But thank god i found sr and the secular forums. We are all proof that you can recover from addiction right now forever. Dont worry too much about how many days just concentracte on now, as long as your sober now your are on the right path!!
Also check out rationalrecovery.org you can do the crash course on avrt also the book rational recovery is very good!