Trying to recover...
Good morning everyone,
About 3 years ago I landed a job where I worked from home. I always manage to get my work done despite my daily heavy drinking, which unfortunately let me keep my job and continue to abuse.
About 6 months ago my wife started catching me drink during the day. The repeated embarrassment was a reality check for me. That combined with some possible symptoms made me realize I needed to change:
- Possible jaundice (it's strange, but I only seem to notice the yellow tint on my forearms, but I know they haven't always looked that way)
- Spider veins (I've started to notice red marks on my shoulders and face. It's somewhat subtle so I doubt anyone would think twice when looking at me, but I know it's there and it seems to be come more visible each week)
-Liver pain (this doesn't actually hurt, but I can feel my liver throughout the day. It seems to "bubble" every once in a while and it can be tender to the touch)
I quit cold turkey 3 months ago. I'm eating quite healthy and avoiding sugary/greasy foots. Alcohol isn't even on my mind. I haven't had even the slightest urge to have a beer because all I can think about now is my wife and 2 year old daughter and how I want to be here for them. I'm scared though. It's been 3 months and I think if anything my symptoms have persisted or in some cases got worse (the spider veins).
I'm scared silly to go to the doctor because my wife doesn't keep secrets from her family and I know nobody will ever look at me the same again if my problems became public. I really wanted to do this on my own and get healthy and move on with life, but with each passing day i'm not seeing improvement and I don't know if I can hold out much longer.
Has anyone else noticed persisting symptoms after months of being sober? From what i've read the liver can fully regenerate itself 2-6 months after you've abstained from alcohol. Being past the halfway point and seeing no signs of improvement is so discouraging. I can't keep my mind off it. It's all I think about, and ironically my work life is becoming heavily affected by it moreso that my alcohol abuse....
Thanks for taking the time to read about my problems.