There was another thread on here recently about this.
Its not uncommon when they get sober to have a problem in the intimacy department. It can last a long time I am sorry to say.
We always think its us - they don't want us, they aren't attracted to us etc. Its not. I can say that all day long and you will fight with yourself on it.
My sober AH and I never had a great sex life in frequency. This bothered me for about 6 months and then one day it dawned on me that what he was saying was the truth. He just didn't have a high sex drive.
I didn't know him drunk. He said he liked having sex while drinking because it lowered his inhibitions.
Now he has relapsed. I didn't see any difference at first but now I am. He wants to have sex more. I have no desire to.
Anyway - its not easy being with them active, and its not easy being with them sober. I would take my sober AH any day over this, we had a rich relationship, a very affectionate one and the infrequent sex was something I was able to accept because of the other.
You should do a search on this subject it has been written about often. My suggestion for now would be to back off of it as he continues to work the program. Its a sore spot - I think like many men its not only about that he is not doing it but that he feels "less a man" because he can't give you what you want.
Good luck its not easy - after all they put us through it would seem that getting sober would be the magic pill but its just another (better) journey to find out who they really are.