Old 10-30-2012, 08:28 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
mfox
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 75
I absolutely agree with rsk. Everyone on this site loves these addicts with all their hearts. They are amazing and worthwhile people - without the drugs. And I know there are a lot of terrific people working successful recovery programs and I applaud them for it because I know how difficult it must be.

It just doesn't sound like this individual is serious about recovery. He has made one small step. A few days or weeks clean does not mean they are actively working a recovery program. It doesn't mean they are committed to it which is absolutely necessary. Abstinence IS NOT recovery. Going to rehab, going to NA/AA meetings doesn't mean you are actually working a program. ACTIONS matter. Changes in attitudes an behavior are what I am looking for in my AH now... not just the apologies and promises and threats. Of course he wants his life back the way it was! He had a VERY soft place to land when he messed everything in his life up - over and over and over.

90210, you ARE young. Find out who YOU are before you wrap yourself up in someone else - especially an active hard-core addict. I know when you are 22 those words don't mean much. After all, I was certain that I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted at 22. My, was I wrong. Go out and experience life. Make it great! Go to school, travel if you can, have life experiences that YOU want. Take care of YOU. Trust me, being involved with an addict easily strips away your individuality, your goals, your dreams and your plans. There are no plans in the life of an addict. Only the plan to feed the addiction.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh or bitter. I'm really not. I am generally positive and upbeat in my life. But I have gone through the storm. I know you care about this man. I know you want what's best for him. But remember, YOU matter, too.

Wishing you luck and happiness. You are in my prayers.
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