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Old 10-27-2012, 06:20 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
fluffyflea
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
I eventually learned to take the quacking and use it for my growth. The more I grow and get well the less power they have over me.







Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
Dear Graceland, I used to torture myself so much with the criticisms that my A's heaped on my head. I cried so much and was so confused---because I knew, intellectually, that they weren't true---but, my heart felt wounded and rejected by my loved ones. It just didn't make "sense" to me!! The m ore I did and tried to love them---the m ore criticism I received.

Now it sounds almost too simple---But, I came here--and was introduced to the fabulous concept of "QUACKING". It was like the sky had opened up for me. At last, I had found the missing piece of the puzzle!!!

I learned that they were deflecting attention away from themselves onto me in order to keep me off balance and maintain their status quo. The more guilt and shame they felt--the more they put it off onto me. If they could focus on me, they did not have to accept responsibility for anything, themselves. It was their disease talking---not that I was inherently flawed and inadequate.

I learned the neat "trick" of picturing them with a large S on their foreheads when they started unfair criticism. The "S" stands for sick. I also pictured them as quacking like a duck when they were talking pure nonsense (that I knew wasn't true). I heard them talking like the teacher in Charlie Brown"--"Wha-Wha-Wha"---when they were talking trash.

What this did was prevent me from taking their unfair and ridiculous statements as a personal criticism. I stopped taking them seriously---and crying every time they tried to verbally attack me. My self-esteem started to improve in spades. I learned a lot more tools to protect myself, but QUACKERS helped to set me free.

I gotta tell you, it was actually funny---after two or three days of my not reacting to their stuff---you could actually see the confusion on their faces!!

If you want more info. on quacking--let me know.

sincerely, dandylion
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