StarCat

I've done this before, many times. The most notable occasion was when I picked a long-distance unemployed internet "boyfriend" who was so desperate for some sort of relationship that he'd never leave me. He didn't have a job and spent all his time online so he was available whenever I wanted him to be. He also spent a lot of time telling me about how I was way out of his league, which soothed my highly insecure ego, at least for a time.

I thought it was the most brilliant thing ever.

NOT healthy. But that was something I had to learn for myself.

Thank you for reminding me of this. I always mention this when I talk about the good I learned from my experiences with XABF (because there really was a lot, and a surprisingly large percentage of it was actually a positive non-whiskey-induced experience, and I'm grateful).

I hadn't thought about it in this situation with my friend, though, and you're right. I'm learning to set healthier boundaries, and I'm learning that I can recognize when something isn't healthy. Doesn't mean I always act in the best way, but I'm acting in better ways and I can see that.

Ahh, Cyranoak, always ready with an ice-cold bucket of reality in case anyone needs a wake-up call. Thank you. I was wondering if I was merely overreacting in feeling that way. I felt very much like XABF at the beginning of the height of his addiction was back from the grave for a second attempt.


I told someone from the program last night that right now I'm paranoid about getting too close to anyone friendship-wise right now, and maybe I need a bunch of casual friends who don't know where I live. (Heck, it worked with the boyfriend, we were dating two and a half months before I'd give him my zip code - or spend a holiday with him for that matter. Maybe I need to use that method with friendships for awhile!)



I'm feeling better - thank you everyone for your input, you have no idea how much simply the validation has helped. I still have three voicemails on my phone... She hasn't tried to contact me at all today so I'm thinking maybe now would be a good time to delete the first two (which I know are from her), and listen to the third one to figure out who left it (since I'm not 100% sure that one's from her) before deleting that one too (if it is her).

And I can't wait for that dinner next weekend! Tomorrow (er, technically today, oops!) I'm going out to get some shoes to go with the dress and necklace I bought. I have things I could wear, sure, but it's business suits and cocktail dresses, and I always wanted an excuse to get a REALLY NICE dress. Boyfriend has committed to going - depending on how court goes Monday he may have to ask for a favor, but he's decided that he'll make sure he can make it so I'm especially happy.