Thinking about it they were right in banning me from the codeine uk support group as I'm not an addict n they are vulnerable people n pm-ing someone telling them where to get codeine wasnt good - i wish i knew why i did that. It was abrilliant group n i recommend anyone from uk go there if they struggling with codeine. They're very supportive n caring.
Anyway my plan is to have all the stuff i have here until its ran out n quit. Aint been without codeine since July. Aint had it long. I'm kinda dreading it but have to do it sometime, right??? Really don't want to though. Want to have as much of it as i can n get completely intoxicated - all sleepy with this lovely calm, cosy feeling all over me that says lifes bloody ace all the bads out there n im in here all nice n smug
I dont want that to end n be 'alert' n in reality again full of guilt, stress self-hatred, anger, loneliness, pining for others to feel rejected. Losing things or threatening to have them taken.
And then there's codeine. Where has it been all my life.....
