Originally Posted by Florence

It took me forever to understand this. Could not wrap my mind around it.

My expectations aren't unreasonable. What is unreasonable was my belief that my actual husband was willing or capable of filling my expectations for a husband role. He just wasn't. He might have been once. Or I might have thought he was capable once, but it turns out I was wrong. Hey, I've been wrong a few times before.

Once I realized that I would have to drastically lower my standards of physical and emotional safety in order to be married to my AH for the rest of my life, something snapped to attention. He wasn't my guy. I didn't/don't have to live like this. I can't change this. I'm sorry it turned out this way, but I'm so, so happy that I'm taking the steps to extract the insanity from my life.