Originally Posted by
lizatola 
"Yeah, I know all these things. I'm tired of being responsible." And, he carried on from there about his issues with responsibility among other things.
One of the hardest things for me to grasp in recovery was that my expectations for "a husband" were perfectly reasonable, but my expectations for "him" were not.
What you want is not unreasonable Liz. But, it's not what you have. You can write a thousand letters and go to a hundred marriage counselors, and you will still have what you've got. You can spend years, even decades, of your life trying to shame, cajole, manipulate, or charm him into being what you want, or you can accept him as he is and turn all that energy toward figuring out what you want in your life. Acceptance is the key. He is what he is and he isn't willing to change.
L