lizatola

No, absolutely not. I thought step 4 was about taking personal inventory. I guess I thought it would be good to hear from him what my shortcomings are so I can add them to the list. I guess that's not appropriate??? Honestly, I haven't actually started doing any work on this step yet nor have I done the full readings in my Paths to Recovery book so I guess my perspective is off?

I am in no way looking at this as passive aggressive. I was serious and I felt I could learn something about myself by hearing what he has to say.

As to what Wishing Well said: she's absolutely right but I did not say that I am fault free, he said that. I have MANY faults, my Ah just won't admit to them and won't talk about them. He says I'm perfect, and that's a load of bullish*t and he knows it. He claims he's a bad seed, he's the bad one, he told the therapist that he will never have a positive bone in his body nor does he want to, etc but when I point out my own shortcomings he won't even agree to them. It's like he's afraid to admit that I don't meet the expectations he set for me and I don't know why. The therapist called him out on a few things he complained about with me and then AH denied them and minimized them. Hence the title to my thread, I'm literally speechless and feel like I'm constantly caught in some sort of alter world that he's trying to create. I even had to bring up some of my faults and he just sat there trying hard to NOT agree. I swear it's like he has to be at odds with the therapist, with me, his boss, whomever just because he enjoys it. Does that make sense?

The therapist is being very patient with him and I know that Thumper said above that she's surprised that the guy wouldn't have AH go to therapy or something. Yeah, that annoys me too, but I feel that the counseling will help me learn more about the part I'm playing here so that I can grow and put some changes into place.

The counselor used the words 'substance abuse problem' and AH took it personally and took offense to it so the counselor had to change his wording to please my AH. He didn't come right out and tell AH that he had a problem but made references to it. His statement to AH was, "J, I'm confused. Last time you were here you were planning on attending AA and getting help for the problem. Now you're telling me you don't have a problem and that AA is for losers." I can't even remember what AH said to that honestly. I hope some of this clarifies some of the points made so far in this thread.