Him: "We can't afford rehab"
Me: "It's covered by our insurance"
Him: "We can't afford for me to take the time off"
Me: "It's only 4 weeks and I'll have my tax refund so we'll more than fine"
Him: "I can't live with a bunch of drunks that long"
Me: *blank stare*
Him: "Oh. How long have we lived together?"
Me: "Exactly"