lizatola

UGH, marriage counseling did NOT go well again today. Of course, I expected nothing less from him. He did say a few nice things about me. He said I was gorgeous and that it would be quite easy for me to replace him.

He was despondent, complained about his loneliness, made himself to be the victim and the therapist did a good job of calling him out on his selfish attitudes, for the most part.

The therapist asked him to write down some changes that he'd like to see me make(I already presented them both with a letter today explaining what I want) and AH only said that he wants SEX. That's it. That's what makes a marriage to him, just sex. He thinks I need to make no other changes than to get busy with him. My response was that I know he's still drinking ( he pretty much went off about how he's never going to AA ever again and they can suck his b*lls because they're all depressed pathetic losers) and that I don't trust him with my emotions, etc. I said, "How am I supposed to want sex with someone who I don't trust and who isn't taking steps to even try to be trustworthy?" "Someone who claims I'm going to report him as a rapist?" I told them(AH and therapist) that the only way I'd be willing to have sex is for us to start developing emotional intimacy and for that to happen, AH is going to have to compromise.

He complained that I have him pinned up against the wall(actually, he said that he's set into the wall so far because of MY issues with his drinking). That he still can control his drinking, even though he admitted that he doesn't want to drink anymore. He said that since I'm not willing to live with him while he's drinking, then he's screwed just like all the men in America whose wives control their lives.

I mean, is it me? Should I just put myself out there and have sex with him just to get him to shut up already? Man, he went on and on about how hot I am and how he wants me so badly. Well, I get that, but what does he do to make himself appealing to me. He seems to think that a wedding ring means you are obligated to perform sexually for your spouse no matter what. UGH! Just ridiculous. The therapist pretty much told him that if AH won't start compromising and seeing that marriage is a 2 way street, then the counseling isn't going to work. AH pretty much got pissed off but agreed to work on writing a list of the things I need to change. I have to say I'm actually looking forward to this list because it will help me with my step 4 work that I'm starting now!! YAY, bring on the pain, I've been preparing myself for this one!