FireSprite

It doesn't have to be too late!

If you identify the trap & see how you went wrong by getting drawn in & reacting, think through how you would rather handle it next time. Even if it's something silly... like I remember one poster here shared that whenever the A in their life starts quacking, they envision their heads turning into duck faces & literally quacking... which distracts them from the drama of the moment long enough to pull themselves back from the edge & even makes them giggle a little at the visualization.

For me, with AH, I had to just STOP. Stop talking, stop interacting, walk away. No matter what I did/said/whatever he found a way to use it as fuel. But when I left the conversation he could only quack alone. Find what works for you.

Then, when it happens again & you get caught up emotionally you can stop yourself from getting sucked in by using whatever little technique helps you.

Progress, not perfection, right?