Djayr,
In readying one of your initial quotes, this is the section that sticks out to me.
Here is my problem. We are getting along. She is nice and quite sweet most of the time. She is lonely and sad and misses me, which makes me feel sorry for her. I regularly suggest going to detox / rehab - why not, what else are you doing for God sakes? - but months go by, a total of 2 years of drinking at this point. There were 2 short breaks, but it's mostly been a non-stop 24/7 buzz for her.
Things are so different, so much better, when she is sober. If only she would give it a shot.
How do you even know if it she and your relationship is so much better anymore? You even say she only had had two short stints. I used this rational to justify how great my ex was in the morning after he had his coffee but before he started drinking. About a two or three hour window. How sad is that?
You gave her the 12 months, I gave mine 6 months and finally filed after I moved out and he did not change. He was shocked. Everyone else saw it coming but him. But you know what? Did even that make him quit or slow down drinking. Nope.
Good luck it is a horrible situation to be in.
4MyBoys