I am very sorry that you are here today. But here you are. And I don't believe God put us on this earth to be unhappy and constantly disappointed. I believe He gives us the opportunities to decide that for ourselves.
I see no reason with scheduling "the talk" with her - give her a few days notice out of respect (doesn't matter if she has any or not, act respectfully anyway for yourself). Lay it all out as you have already above. "Say what you mean, mean what you say, just don't say it mean" is what comes to mind.
But just because a year went by doesn't mean you have to do it right now, if you are not ready. Be absolutely sure before you sign on the dotted line.
Honestly, djayr, I can't think of one single thing you haven't done already, including being very patient and tolerant of behavior that gets other folks kicked to the proverbial curb instantly. Don't you think its time to start living a life for yourself that meets your needs?