Originally Posted by
BlueSkiesAgain 
You all are right. I gave up my identity, myself 21 years ago when I started raising children. Graduated college as an engineer. Had a major job and traveled the world and when I had children I couldn't bear to leave them with a sitter. So I became a stay at home mom. Since that day my life has focused on my children, my husband (to a lesser extent) and my dogs.
Truth is I don't know who I am if not in relation to my family. My family is slowly drifting away. AS is 21 and an adult although I'm not ready for that. My other son is 17 and will be leaving for college within the year and he will be 1000 miles away. My dog is 13 years old and in very bad health. I have no idea who I am outside of my family.
My dad was an alcoholic and my mother died of cancer when I was a child. I always promised myself my children would not grow up in the environment that I did. I have spent 21 years making sure they had a prefect (I know no such thing) childhood. Somewhere along the way I lost me.
Then this is a time of revelation and revitalization for you! For YOU!!!
I raised 5 kids, 2 full time, and 3 step kids rotating in and out. I remember my son, when I told him very specifically what he should do in great detail about some small issue, I remember him looking down at me from his great height, and in his deep voice saying "It's okay, Mom, I've got that covered."
Your son may or may not "have that covered" but it is his now, to do, to not do, to handle any way he wants, and to take and learn from the consequences. That is one of the absolutely hardest things for a mother to learn, in my opinion.
And that leaves you in a most trying situation. You have the great anxiety of watching your son maybe making very bad choices with very bad consequences, and he is not necessarily choosing to listen to you.
And, you have the empty nest syndrome approaching.
I suggest diving as deep into what YOU want to be when you grow up as possible, as quickly and intensely, and positively as you can. Connect with other engineers, talk to people in your field, get out there and soon you'll find you'll get a life, your own life.
ShootingStar1