You all are right. I gave up my identity, myself 21 years ago when I started raising children. Graduated college as an engineer. Had a major job and traveled the world and when I had children I couldn't bear to leave them with a sitter. So I became a stay at home mom. Since that day my life has focused on my children, my husband (to a lesser extent) and my dogs.
Truth is I don't know who I am if not in relation to my family. My family is slowly drifting away. AS is 21 and an adult although I'm not ready for that. My other son is 17 and will be leaving for college within the year and he will be 1000 miles away. My dog is 13 years old and in very bad health. I have no idea who I am outside of my family.
My dad was an alcoholic and my mother died of cancer when I was a child. I always promised myself my children would not grow up in the environment that I did. I have spent 21 years making sure they had a prefect (I know no such thing) childhood. Somewhere along the way I lost me.