Originally Posted by
BlueSkiesAgain 
The three weeks of being sober he had gave me to much of a since of security.
You are placing control over your emotions on him and his behavior. If he does this...you feel that... No wonder you are stressed and miserable! Giving up one's power and control over their own lives has a way of making us feel like that!
Take your power back. He doesn't want it nor have any idea what to do with it, so he goes about living his own life and you get yanked all around and dragged through his muck. Stop doing that! Unhook your emotions from his actions. Find your own sense of security in your own life - make a list of all the things that already give you that sense of security. Stop pinning it on him, or you will be constantly disappointed.
We can have compassion without removing responsibility and accountability; we can be detached and still love and care for people; we can base our emotions on ourselves and our own lives regardless of what others are doing (or not doing).
Today, try making a gratitude list. Write out all the things that make you comfortable, happy, content, and/or secure. Re-read daily, and add to as needed.