A bitchy, nagging, bitter, resentful, sex withholding, belittling, constant doom and gloom spouse cannot trigger drinking or using in their alcoholic/addict.
An addict/alcoholic will find a reason to use in the weather. The TV programming. What political candidate won the election. Burned toast. Really, seriously -- until the addict takes responsibility -- the entire responsibility -- for his or her own addiction,
nothing will change.
I really see this the same way I see codies (and I was one of them) sitting around complaining that their addict isn't different, but they keep sitting there. If you're an addict and your significant other is all of that stuff above -- leaving seems like a better option than using it as an excuse to take a relapse. In my mind at least. Not an
easier option, mind you -- but a better one.