WishingWell, nwgrits and outonalimb all make their points.
I think the confusion stems from the word "trigger." While in ordinary parlance, the word "trigger" can mean "cause," in alcoholism and addiction circles it does not.
Take the classic HALT acronym. Hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness all CAN (but need not) "trigger" drinking/using in an alcoholic/addict. HALT situations increase the risk of drinking/using for the A. However, they do NOT "cause" the alcoholism or addiction.
The point is further made when one considers (as stated in the Big Book of A.A.) that even OPPOSITE poles can be "reasons" to drink (or use). In an A, both a good or earning day at home/work and a bad or poor one, can "trigger" but not "cause" drinking/using.
Additionally, and most importantly, the A can learn NOT to PULL the trigger - for example by keeping HALT in mind. On the other hand, the A cannot "uncause" his or her alcoholism or addiction.
The same goes for an unhappy marriage. Yes, it can (but need not) "trigger" drinking; it can increase the risk of drinking/using. But the unhappy marriage does NOT "cause" the alcoholism or addiction. The A need not pull THAT trigger either.
Even in happy marriages (opposite pole), there can be alcoholism and addiction ... but not for long because they are progressive FAMILY diseases. The alcoholism and addiction increasingly and adversely affect not only the A but also the family members, those closest to the A. A program like Al-Anon can help them live with the A, whether the A is drinking or not. Only in rare cases, can marital counseling help - like that - when a spouse is an active A, or is in rehab or early recovery.
Here are three Myths and Realities from the book "
Under the Innfluence by James Milam and Katherine Ketcham (emphasis added):
"MYTH: Addiction to alcohol is often psychological.
REALITY: Addiction to alcohol is primarily physiological. Alcoholics become addicted because their bodies are physiologically incapable of processing alcohol normally. (Chapters 3 and 4)"
MYTH: People become alcoholics because they have psychological or emotional problems which they try to relieve by drinking.
REALITY: Alcoholics have the same psychological and emotional problems as everyone else before they start drinking. These problems are aggravated, however, by their addiction to alcohol. Alcoholism undermines and weakens the alcoholic's ability to cope with the normal problems of living. Furthermore, the alcoholic's emotions become inflamed both when he drinks excessively and when he stops drinking. Thus, when he is drinking and when he is abstinent, he will feel angry, fearful, and depressed in exaggerated degrees. (Chapters 3 and 5)
MYTH: All sorts of social problems - marriage problems, a death in the family, job stress - may cause alcoholism.
REALITY: As with psychological and emotional problems [above], alcoholics experience all the social pressures everyone else does, but their ability to cope is undermined by the disease and the problems get worse. (Chapters 3,4, and 5)
No Catch 22. Just the nature of the family disease AND there is help in Al-Anon, for starters!
