thank you all for the encouraging words. it makes me cry to just see people even read my story. i will definitely look into those books. as i sit here my husband came home to get a few more clothes. i gave dates and times of NA meetings and he says "well i have a softball game today, lots of work, and hockey game tonight so i will go tomm." am i wrong to be angry about this, i know this is his addiction, but if you put if off, you wont go. he is reading his NA book and writing alot in a journal but i still believe meetings are a must today. sometimes i cant even look at him then other times i want to hug him and say everything will be ok. i feel like if i say or do the worng thing i am enabling him. my kids need daddy around, i need my husband around. But at what cost? am i doing the right thing by making him stay elsewhere for the time being?