I think you guys are doing really well! Sexual issues happen in the best of relationships. You are nowhere near alone. It's too bad that you guys can't get some marriage therapy, there you could talk and find out. I totally get your husband. Many men are very reluctant to admit anxiety or inadequacy in the bedroom, they'd rather lose an arm.
But I do think this can be worked on and improved. 10 months sobriety is so wonderful!!! Congrats to him and you, too, for all the love you've shown. Bravo!