Originally Posted by
wywriter 
I finally got to talk to my husband a bit about the lack of intimacy, and he merely acknowledged the fact that "my perceived needs" are not being met. He said that if I get back on birth control, that can change -- even though when I asked him about it five months ago, right after our son was born, he informed me that we were going to be abstinent. I don't know if he really meant it that way, but he never discussed it with me or anything, and it certainly left me with a pretty clear view of how much he valued what I could give him in that respect.
Could the lack of intimacy be as simple as he wants no more children? I went back and read some of your old threads. Your DH has four children from previous marriages that he no longer sees. In addition to your son from a previous relationship, the two of you have added two more in a relatively short period of time. And, he's over fifty years old .... not wanting more children may be the most mature thing he's done.
Gentle hugs.