Dorris, there is nothing wrong with how you feel or how you "are." You are uniquely sensitive and that's a gift. I'm quite certain that once you just let yourself be who you are, the desperation will start to pass.
I can relate to what you say about meetings; I feel the same. The telling and re-telling of stories is helpful for some, but unbearable for me.
Take a look at SMART and AVRT... perhaps one or both of those might be a better fit for you. Though this neighborhood of the forum is not quite as busy as others, I can assure you we really do listen here. Keep on posting.
