Originally Posted by
wywriter 
Even my mother rubs it in my face that my husband doesn't want me, and my sister honestly can't understand why exclusivity is important to anyone.
Hi Wywriter,
Your mother rubs it in your face? Sounds like mom may be a bit toxic... something is not right here.
Marriage is more that cohabitating and reproduction and I cannot imagine being in a relationship where intimacy is nonexistent and I can well understand your frustration. It sounds as though this was not strictly an alcohol issue and your husband may have a libido problem that is physical in nature. A saliva test with his doctor will check his testosterone levels which may be low and are an easy fix and there will be a quick change.
Some men are just very uncomfortable with intimacy and simply not that interested in sex. Compatibility in this area isn't always a given and in an relationship it is important that both parties give consideration to the other in this area. His disinterest in your desire is troubling in itself... unless it is not disinterest but fear.
He may have some performance fears and many alcoholics have only been intimate while drunk and the idea of sober sex is scary beyond belief.
To heal a broken relationship like yours takes a lot of time and counseling would be invaluable for you both. My XA and I were in counseling for years with a great marriage counselor that knew addiction and relationships. He is a retired pastor who has a degree in psycholology and counsels couples and is willing to counsel for donations if there is hardship.
If you spend some time searching you might find someone in your own town that is similar... meanwhile why don't you PM me and I will share my counselor's number and you can talk to him in a phone appointment. He is an amazing, insightful, loving counselor and doctor of psychology.