I was clinically depressed, crippled with anxiety, on leave from work for six months, Dorris, I was a mess. A couple of weeks after my last drink, I could see the major cause of my depression and anxiety - vodka.
During the first few days, I was a little frantic. Maybe terrified is a better word for it. But I got a huge boost in knowing that I was finally doing something right in my life, and that I never again had to feel that shame and guilt that goes along with drinking heavily every day.
It might help you to think for a quiet long moment about the great choice you are making, a death defying act, about releasing yourself from this enslavement. This is a brave and courageous choice you have made. You, Dorris, deserve nothing less.