I really wanted to go back to the life I had before I was an addict. But in the end my life is better than it was then. Back then, "normal" was so intolerable that using seemed the better alternative--so it could not have been that good.
So going back to normal was not a great goal for me. But weirdly enough my life has improved so much that I am almost grateful for the detour into addiction which led me to recovery which eventually led me to where I am now. But it was not easy and took time. I think if you stick it out and go through the present pain, when you get to the other side it will have been worth it.