Hi needtostopnow, and welcome.
You can stop into any AA meeting at any time. They usually last an hour. If you're late, don't sweat it. If you're not comfortable talking to people before and after the meeting, you can arrive a little late and leave a little early.
I've found that it is not uncommon that either the appointed speaker (if there is one) or the voluntary speaking of the other people often addresses exactly what's pressing on my mind.
You can rest assured that your situation is not unique. If the group you try first doesn't suit you, try different ones. Even if you find one you really like, sometimes due to other circumstances, you won't be able to make that one. In that case, try a different one.
I found it a little intimidating at some of the groups that some of the people seemed to have known and been through all kinds of stuff for ages. They'd hug each other when seeing each other. But if you hang out afterwards, chances are someone will approach you and strike up a conversation to make you feel at ease.
Part of the AA philosophy is to get out of yourself by helping others. So if you think people feel a sense of obligation to talk to you, think of it this way: it's easy for an alkie to get self-absorbed and isolated in his own head, so what they're doing when they reach out to you is just as important in keeping them from going back to drinking again and keeping secrets as it is in making you feel welcome.
And if someone lays a heavy duty story on you about how far down their abuse brought them, rather than say, 'well, I'm not that bad,' think of it this way. You're one of the lucky ones to have gotten out of denial enough to stop the downward spiral before it DOES get that bad.
I went to a meeting and there was a guy there who said he grew up around the corner from the place where it was held. He used to see the people going into meetings and hanging out afterwards and said to himself, 'those people are screwed up.' What happened when he grew up? He never thought he would be "one of those people," but he ended up going to that meeting on an ongoing basis.
So if you hear a biker dude or a businessman talking and you don't feel you belong in either of those demographics, keep an open mind. Aside from marriage (some of us are single), many of the things that we have to go through cuts across sex, sexual orientation, and our position in life.
For instance, I'm not married and I don't have kids, but there are plenty of people in my life that I don't want to let down with sloppy behavior and not remembering what I said.