Confused and out of Hope
Hello all,
I am new and after, reading so many post that sound like mine, I felt comfortable enough to write my story, My Bf is an addict/alcoholic.
I have lived with this realization for the last 5 months in denial, but now it is clearly evident.
When I met S he was a handsome, professional with so much ambition, I was clearly smitten and fell fast, but slowly that all changed, It started with pay day loans, he started taking out so many and I never could figure out where all the money went, being absent from work,
Signs that were obvious, but I was blinded by being naive, and In love.
In the last 5 months he has been arrested, twice for drunk in public and hospitalized,
the first he had over dosed on adivant he took a month supply and drank on top of that, he was hallucinating and I did not want him to in danger himself, So I rushed over to help
Unfortunately he had made a scene and cops were called, He was placed in a 5150 hold and transported to the hospital, nothing was done, because he talked his way out and was released, Then came the promises , "It will never happen" "I'm sorry" and I fell for it .
Then he tried to turn the guilt on me, I had 1 friend that I confided in, there was no way I was going to tell my family, S had snooped in my phone while I was showering and since that friend was male, he automatically assumed I was cheating and went on another drinking binge, This time humiliating me on Facebook to my friends and family.
after long talks we reconciled and I forgave him, stop talking to the one friend I confided in and two months later, another set back, we are at square one, the lying, the binging. after a week I went to see him, he seemed paranoid, seeing and hearing things, I was worried so I stayed with him, That is when he had his seizure, It was the scarest thing I have ever dealt with, I swear I though he was dying, I called 911 and he was transported to the hospital. I remember begging God not to take him, not yet,
It turned out to be caused by delirium tremens, because of his heavy drinking
5 jaager bottles large costco bottles in 5 days.
after the Dr clearly stated he could die the next time, Then came the promises, the appologies, and the promise of getting help. The following week I had to leave out of town for work, he talked to me every day, then the last day nothing, no call, he wasn't there at the airport to pick me up and, as you guessed, back on the binge.
He doesnt have much family, His dad has written him off, when I told him he was at the hospital, he said I expected him dead months ago..
This man walked into my life and turned it upside down, He was everything I had asked for, and he is sick, I know I can't save him, and I'm trying with all I have not to let him or his illness consume me, I feel alone because I certainly cannot tell my family, because they will not understand,
I don't know what else to do, he is incoherent now as he is on a binge, I pray every night for him, I miss the man I once knew, I miss my best friend.
Thanks for letting me vent ..