"He can't have a laptop or a mobile whilst he's there. I asked him whether he could have visitors and he said he didn't know (?). I'm hoping no. I can't imagine making a two-hour drive after work each evening to watch him whine in his private suite."
This is his deal, there will be plenty of people their to support him, why would you even consider driving 2 hours each evening? Me? Once a week, maybe, only IF he were to behave while I am there. This is not his first rodeo.
Take this time to work on you, this has been going on for a very long time, might be time to find yourself and determine why you stay and keep putting up with all the drama.
There is a reason.
My best.