Old 10-14-2012, 01:14 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Something that has helped many of us find our balance, Laurie, was to go to meetings of Al-anon, Nar-anon or CoDA, three similar fellowships that aren't about substance at all, but about us. CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) was my home fellowship for many years until we moved, and there were many members there struggling with issues of codependency that had nothing to do with substance abuse. It has just been an pattern they had fallen into most of their lives.

My codependency came from early childhood, my father died of cancer when I was 6 and I thought if I was a good little nurse to him, he would get well. He didn't. My mother was almost murdered by an axe attack by a mad man who had broken into our basement when I was 7, by the grace of God she got away and grabbed me as she ran. We never lived a life conducive to violence, it was just a freak thing, But I have spent my life trying to protect the people I love and the worst in me was triggered with my son's addiction. I had to learn to work through all the feelings and fear that I had stuffed for so many years, and I had to learn what to do when fear began creeping back into my head and my life. I thank God for those meetings and those who went before me and showed me a better way to live.

It might help you to find peace, with yourself and with your family. Maybe give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

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