Old 10-14-2012, 05:12 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
LaurieG
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 2
Am i too hard on my daughters husband for being an ex addict?

Hi, am am new here and i understand i may be attacked for this question but i do need advice, Sorry its very long.


My oldest daughter just celebrated her first wedding anniversary to a man i cannot get on with at all, He was a heavy drug user on/off for 5yrs before they met. She is 26 and absolutely stunning, They met 3yrs ago, To my shock 11months after they met she gave birth to my grandson, I was furious with her but she said she messed up her BC but i wouldn't be shocked if he had something to do with it to keep her. My son in law is a 33yo touring musician and can be gone for weeks on end, My daughter and grandson go with him as much as she can but tends to not go with him to Europe as she feels its too much on her son, which i agree. He can be very standoffish and arrogant at times, From the moment we met we could not see eye to eye, I feel like if i keep him at arms length then then i wont be so shocked if he breaks her heart. Before they met he was a drug addict but had been clean for 4months when she met him, He claims she and their son are his meaning for life, That they help keep him together, He adores his son & nothing is ever good enough for him, My SIL's father walked out on his mom when she was pregnant on him.

My daughter has informed me that he doesn't like many people coming by their house when he is home 'because he is always on the road he wants one on one time with his family', Because of this i feel i never get a chance to see my own daughter or grandson. Although he can fully support both of them i feel my daughter gave up her career to suit his life. When we where last at a family dinner he kept her by him the whole night not really giving anyone a chance to talk to her or even him, I was drinking and annoyed so in front of people i told him that i felt he had stolen my daughters youth, That she only settled with him becasue of pity & he only wants her as a trophy wife, Then i stupidly said that he should easy up on the drink that we didnt want him to relapse into his old ways (even though he only had 1) he just glanced at me and walked out, My daughter was furious. Last weekend i went by their place to apologies to her, i noticed him playing with my grandson & i don't know why now but i wanted to hurt him so i told him he was doing it wrong, He said it was fine to which i told him he didn't know what he was doing, That triggered him and we had a slight argument then my daughter told me it was time to leave and not to come back unless i learn to behave myself & treat him with respect, I don't want to lose her but how can i 'respect' an ex addict who doesn't deserve my daughter? I don't want to be like this with him but i cant help it, Im afraid he will relapse and drag her down. Please give me advice?
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