LoveMeNot,
I'm sorry that you are going through this. I went through the same thing with my now ex husband. The drugs were not the problem...they were but a symptom. My ex "daubled" with recovery but it never took. He sat in a chair there for a while but never worked it. The "isms" destroyed our marriage. It was a bitter pill for me to swallow.
I think that recovery is possible but it really is a daily reprieve that has to be managed in a conscious way every day. There are some double winners in my Alanon group and they are amazing....so I know it can work if you work it. However, my husband - and many other people - just never get it.
It really is a disappointment...and dashed hopes hurt. Hang in there.....