I'm not making it a competition at all, my husband is. He says he is torn between spending time with me and spending time with his daughter. There is no need to be torn. We have a house where she is welcome to come. She has a room in our house. And her and I are cool. There is no need to be torn. I'll pay for her gas, come on up, spend the weekend, hang out with your dad. I work 50 hours a week, go spend time with her during the week or have her come up on the weekend.
You're right though, I'm not sure what her feelings are about his alcoholism, he was always a functional alcoholic, that is until the last 2 years, when his alcoholism became full blown, in your face, fall down drunk pathetic. She never saw any of that. But I'm not sure what her experience was.
She is very level headed, she's a really good kid. I just feel that there is no reason to chose between her or I, once we got married we became a family. Our house is now the family house. There is no need for separation or her vs. me, come and be part of our family.