my ex has bi polar and attention deficit...however it is pretty hard to believe that the physiological make up of these issues aren't hugely exacerbated by the lifestyle of erratic addiction to crack.
I know the kind of trauma induced mental issues I started having just by being connected to him!! I needed my therapist, my sponsor, my community and SR just to start to TRY to regain my sanity...I began becoming split myself!! re: love the man hate the addiction...just wasn't working for me, it was crazy making navigating all the manipulation and deceit and grief and lost hope!!
now imagine an addict...who has to navigate ALL of that as well...AND add in the intense chemical reactions of hard core drugs...what kind of sick mad roller coaster is that brain on? sure...there have been lots of studies about which drugs are the DOC of people already suffering from a mental disorder and trying to self medicate...but I agree with interrupted...the diagnosis needs to be made from a flat baseline, and hard core drugs not only are used to "self medicate" but they also EXACERBATE and mimic these disorders.
I started to realize that the drugs were almost a smokescreen...if he was to get clean I would still be trying to have a relationship with someone who had a HUGE mess to clean up...their life. the loss, the moodiness, the guilt, the self hate...there is just SO SO SO much for an addict, IF IF IF they embrace recovery...to move through and heal...
and WE cannot do it for them
the real question is going to be...who do you want to live your life with? how do you want to live? and remember that it is HE who has to learn/deal/heal (or not) his own life.
chances are great that you are already experiencing the contagion of the insanity...you have been exposing yourself to an addiction that is systematic, and those deeply connected/rooted in/attached to it get sick as well.