Originally Posted by
Obladi 
All of that notwithstanding, I cannot seem to muster the conviction - yet - to make a Big Plan and really feel in my heart and sould that I mean it. It's not for lack of want and it's not for lack of confidence nor for lack of courage, at least today. It's something else I can't quite grasp yet. I wish I could describe or start to define it, but I guess if I could, I'd be set!
Sounds to me like you want to make the big plan, but something is telling you not to (your beast?). Isn't that the essence of AVRT, everything that tells you that you can drink now or in the future is not you but your beast?
I don't know all that AVRT entails, but this is my understanding of it.
And I totally understand where you are coming from. I have that same voice telling me that I don't have to never drink again. But, I think I do have to never drink again, and the part of me that doesn't like it is my beast.