I am very grateful for all of your responses. No, he is not meeting my needs in this relationship. I can feel him trying for example, he bought groceries today (only after I repeatedly said, I don't have any money for groceries) he bought us a TV (the old one died), he helped me get the kids ready for Halloween... things like that. But like I was telling him, I feel as if I have to ask him to help and instruct him on what it is I need help with. Why can't he just say, "What can I do to help?" He used to yell at me and tell me he felt like my personal butler, so of course when I ask him for his help I hear that in the back of my mind. Therefore, it adds to my anxiety when I have to ask to get his help.
I told him today, after the grocery store visit, that I hate having to ask him for things. And I don't know how to tell him things I want to tell him (like Don't hang around here so much cause it adds to my anxiety.) Of course, he didn't ask what it was I wanted to say to him but can't, so the subject was dropped.
He thinks just because he hasn't drank in 2+ weeks that he's all of a sudden this great person??? Whatever!!
Is my self-esteem that low? I know I don't need his help physically, but I do need his money. Even if it is $50 a week. I have to feed our kids, buy inhalers for our son, diapers for our daughter. I don't like it that I have to ask him for money. Is this his power over me? Or does it send him mixed messages when I call and ask him to stop by the store to buy diapers. After I pay all the bills we wracked up together, I have $300 a month. Groceries and cleaners, diapers, medicine, lunch money for my son, my cigs (lol), gas... all them little things add up. All he pays is the babysitter and that's only $75 a week (and of course his own debts which he wracked up on his own - thats another thread).
StandingStrong - you always inspire me and your right, I should not accept less of him than what I expect of myself. This definately gives me something I need to think about and work on.