lillamy

Actually, this is exactly what a domestic abuse counselor told me, that verbal and emotional abuse is harder to "treat" or "get over" than sexual or physical abuse. She is herself a survivor of an abusive marriage, and said that for her, the sexual and physical abuse was obvious, there was evidence of it, she was bruised and scarred from it. But the emotional and verbal abuse was more insiduous. Years after she thought she had recovered, she could hear her abuser's voice in her own when she engaged in negative self-talk.

She said the emotional and verbal abuse is difficult to deal with because part of the abuse is the abuser manipulating you into questioning whether you really are being abused or whether you're just imagining or exaggerating. Verbal and emotional abuse doesn't leave physical evidence, but it harms you on a very deep level because it makes you question your connection to reality and your ability to judge what is real.

My AXH would never, ever, in a million years admit to having been abusive. Ever. He would scoff at the idea. He still doesn't understand why a mere murder-suicide threat would make me leave.